You’d never know it by meeting me in person at one of the Qgirls parties, but I struggle with quite a bit of social anxiety at large gatherings.
I guess I’d be considered a typical introvert. I like people, but in small, measured doses. I have a handful of close friends – more than a handful and I’d get overwhelmed. I am outgoing, pretty intelligent and can hold down a conversation. I’ve even been told I can talk to anyone. But the minute I contemplate heading to a large gathering of women – I freeze.
I’ve always dreaded bars and typical lesbian tea dances because I never seem to know where to go or who to talk to. I force myself because I know it’s important to maintain a social support network. Once you hit your forties it’s not like college anymore. A lot of friends are married and partnered, and spending too much time with couples can get, well, depressing. Let’s face it, lives and careers and hobbies…life just gets busy.
I had met a couple of the organizers of Qgirls a while back. They kept encouraging me to attend an event, and like the typical introvert, I smiled and tuned them out.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I finally decided to take the plunge and go to one of their events a few months ago. I was pleasantly surprised.
The Elmo’s lounge is a relatively small space, but roomy enough for a full bar, an excellent DJ-and comfy couches to sit on when my bad knee acted up. The music is for everyone’s taste. The DJ effortlessly mixed hits from the 80’s and 90’s with hits from the 21st century. Something for everyone. I couldn’t help but dance a little, the mix of music was that good.
And the best part? Everyone was friendly. I’m sorry to say that is not always the case at women’s events that cater to lesbian and bi women. They can sometimes be cliquey, or women trying to be New York City chic just have an attitude.
At Qgirls events the attitudes, if there are any, get left at the door. It really is a fun, friendly atmosphere. The women are open and fun to talk to. Everyone is friendly. So even an introvert like me was able to mix and mingle for the first time in a long time.
I’m going tonight, maybe I’ll meet some fellow introverts. Or maybe I’ll meet my next best friend or love of my life. Even if I don’t meet anyone who will change my life. I know I’ll have a great time.